
I suppose that tying shoelaces will soon be numbered among the lost arts, like determining latitude by noon sight and driving while looking at the road. Once upon a time, learning to tie your own shoes was a watershed event in children’s lives, almost on a par with learning to walk. But no longer. Now Velcro rules. Soon, only a tiny minority of quirky enthusiasts — the sort of people the Brits call “anoraks” — will bother to learn how to join two cords together with a slip‑knot bow. Of course, that day hasn’t arrived. Yet.
It’s getting closer, though. As I realized not long ago when a new tarp came with a package of fishhook‑like plastic gadgets bearing the impressive name “Nite Ize Figure 9″ — the latest in a long line of clever devices intended to do away with the need to tie a tautline hitch. Unlike many of their predecessors, however, these Nite Ize work. So another relic of ancient woodcraft bites the dust. Before long, only gorillas will bother to master even the most rudimentary knots. (Yes, our muscular cousins apparently do tie knots, though they have an unfortunate predilection for grannies.)
Anyway, here’s what Nite Ize Figure 9s look like:
As you can see, they’re not without a certain Bauhaus elegance. But I wasn’t about to be swayed by subtle aesthetic considerations. Instead, I consigned the Nite Ize to a dark corner of the storage bin reserved for interesting‑but‑useless items, the same bin that formerly held the jar of Marmite I somehow talked myself into buying. As it happened, I later relented and gave the Marmite a second chance. The Nite Ize, however, looked certain to remain in the bin forever, ignored and ultimately forgotten. Then, about a month ago, I saw them advertised in a flier from a dealer in military surplus and survival gear. The copywriters had pulled out all the stops, too. “Never tie a knot again,” proclaimed the ad. And just to make sure you’d got the point, they reiterated, “Eliminates the hassle of tying, adjusting and untying knots.” The Mad Men were determined to leave nothing to the reader’s imagination.
I was suitably impressed. Not with the product, you understand. While it was obvious that the Nite Ize were a workable substitute for the tautline hitch, they certainly didn’t eliminate the need for campers to know other knots. In fact, the picture that accompanied the fulsome ad copy made this clear, since it showed a tent guyline secured to a pull‑out with — you guessed it — a couple of half hitches. (It’s not the best knot for the job, perhaps, but the half hitch is definitely a knot.) No, what did impress me was the copywriter’s choice of words. Was “tying, adjusting and untying knots” really a “hassle”? I’d never found that to be the case.
Still, it hasn’t escaped my attention that quite a lot of folks find paddling a canoe to be a hassle, too. (This isn’t true of anyone reading this, I know, but…) So maybe I’m just behind the times. Then again, the explanation for my intransigence may lie elsewhere. I know I enjoy the feeling of independence that comes from mastering a simple physical skill, especially when that skill has practical applications. Like paddling a canoe, for instance. Or tying a knot. And I don’t think I’m alone in this, a hopeful notion that was confirmed recently when a regular reader suggested I write a column about my favorite knots… Read more…
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